late evening thoughts

I should have known by not valuing my self and saying yes to marry my ex, just coz life wasn't worth living after my dad's death. I wonder how my mom didn't see the changes in me, that was her job. THAT was her JOB.  

Oh well, I should have valued my life and said no.  If no one was standing up with me, beside me  I should have just walked out alone. Walked out of the damn house. Walked away from those toxic people who sneaked/crawled in my family in 1995 and sucked the life out of it. 

I should have started my life. Life which was focused on my happiness. The way it is today. I have missed out so many years. No worries, not losing any more time.

I should have started my life. My own family. Where every one loved each other.  Had my kids with a man who loved me and them, adored his family, worshipped his family. 

I should have known that I wasn't only picking a husband but a father too. I should have  given my kids, the father they deserve. The family they deserve. 

Bottom line- Always value yourself. Always.  Love yourself. Be true to yourself. 

And take care of yourself mentally as well as physically. 

If you won't then who would. 

I am making sure my kids know this. Remember this. Always.