Depression/ Feelings

From last few weeks I am feeling that I might be getting depressive. Then I tried to know what exactly is depression. Or may be I have to know who am I . I know exactly that I am not like other people. I am saying people not women, my reactions, my way of caring, my love , everything I do is irreplaceable. Whether in my kids life or in any of my friends life. I will come bal to what I was thinking. I was thinking about he depressive feelings. The feelings which comes after .....after what. To feel it, you have to be courageous. You have to accept things, life. Am I doing it? Or have I made my own world, where everything is perfect. Yes, I live in my own world. Where everything is so positive and good. Am I running away from life or have I created a new way to live. People live around me find it weird. For them real life is better, whether they have to complain, fight or what ever. But still I prefer my world. I must say thank you to god for giving me my imagination, thoughts, feelings and photographic memory. I have to learn to share. Share my thoughts, which are sitting or may be buried deep down. Will I be able to share it here, I hope so. Or... May be in fiction with a different name. What is life - is it what you live or is it what I live. How do we determine that what we see or do is right when there is no such thing as right or wrong. Who should be the judge. I don't judge people but do that stop others to judge me.?. The question is still unanswered about depression. I have to be more courageous to answer. Am I?